Karczma

Karczma
136 Greenpoint Ave
(between Franklin St & Manhattan Ave)
Brooklyn, NY 11222

I can only express my fondness for Karzcma in troikas: Meat, starch, lard; Zywiec, drinking, debauchery.

The restaurant will not be remembered for its Michelin-level cuisine, but just like death and taxes, you can certainly count on several things: the meal will be solid, definitely coma-inducing, and a considerable value for the ridiculous amount of food that you were too pussy to finish.

When in Warsaw (or Greenpoint), eat pierogies. They come with potato and cheese, beef, and mushrooms fillings. Be a smart Pollock and 1) order all three; and 2) order them fried: the combination of beef lard, crispy starch, and hearty fillings are a perfect complement to the Zywiec Light and Porter on tap. Don't skip on the hunter's bacon either: thick and slab-like, it's about a third of the price of Peter Luger's famous bacon side, but just as porky and unctuous.

Don't wuss out and make sure to accompany that side of bacon with a grilled meat platter for two. Like Sir Mix-a-Lot's odes to booties, it's large and in charge, and simply difficult to get one's hand around. Kielbasa, bacon, pork chops, and blood sausage make appearances, along with slices of grilled chicken and salmon. Along with the BBQ, horseradish, and garlic sauces on your plate, it's a veritable Atkins Revolution on a hot plate. The grilled plate comes with a side of roasted, gar-licked potatoes and sauerkraut with mushrooms gratis; both of these are small meals in themselves.

Beside the $3.50 Zyweic on Thursday from 5-9pm, the mise en scene at Karzcma never disappoints. Waitresses with peasant dresses and orange Day-glo tans, Polish hipsters with retro mullets, and Zywiec-induced stupors from bar patrons: they are all part of the whimsy that has made Karczma one of my underground favorites for the past several years.