Branded Saloon

Branded Saloon
603 Vanderbilt Ave
(between St Marks Ave & Bergen St)
Brooklyn, NY 11238
Neighborhood: Prospect Heights

When someone in the hospitality industry goes out of their way to tip 10%, you know your service is messed up.

Branded Saloon was not my first choice for restaurants to check out after my double shift ended at 11pm. Neither was it my second, third, nor fourth choice. (These honors would go to The Vanderbilt, Eton's Dumplings, Soda Bar, and Cornelius respectively). Like a booty call at two in the morning or a trip to Alphabet City 10 years ago, I simply hit up to the location that would give me the best chance of scoring.

With ravenous hunger setting in and expectations already low, I venture to Branded Saloon, the only place in Prospect Heights whose kitchen is open after 12am on weekdays.

The late night dinner started promising enough with a La Trappe Quadrupel, whose malty, toffee, and caramel notes were emblematic of this style of Belgian beer. Branded has a surprisingly decent beer selection by bottle; other highlights include Innis & Gunn, a mild ale from Scotland matured in oak casks, which give it a roasted, vanilla flavor very much to what you see in bourbon.

The burger took about 30 minutes to come out. While I patiently read my recent issue of Food & Wine Magazine, I mentally compiled the following service issues which played out like a bad Health Inspection examination.

- Order Belgian quadrupel; bartender does not offer glassware of any kind
- Burger took 30 minutes, despite my order being the only food order sent to the kitchen
- Bartender mentions burger will come out in 4 minutes after waiting at the bar for nearly 20 minutes; said burger takes 10 minutes to finally reach the table
- Requested side salad instead of fries with burger; order comes out with fries
- Failure by bartender to apologize for messing up order
- While order is outstanding, bartender spends time adjusting volume level and tracks of personal iPod list and ventures outside for 5 minute smoke break
- Bartender clears food from previous customer with hands into bus tray; proceeds to handle my plate from kitchen with cigarette-smoke laden hands without washing

I begrudgingly add an additional star due to the fact that the bartender offered a shot of Jameson while I was waiting; although I suspect that it was to get him lubricated rather than as a comp for how long the burger took to cook.

Plan B

Plan B
626 Vanderbilt Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11228

The first week of 2011 marks my journey to ironically, self-referential sports bars. First there was the road to Perdition, a surprisingly upscale joint on 10th Ave. that adequately describes the self-loathing one feels entering into any Hell's Kitchen bar, and now Plan B, which represents the default option when Plan A falls through and Plan C (drinking in your apartment) is simply too depressing.

Neither the beer selection (Bud Light/Coors Light/Michelob Shock Top/Brooklyn Lager) nor the wings are anything to rave about, but the local and friendly bartenders efficiently distribute suds and grub during game time. Most importantly, Plan B has two 40" flat-screen TVs behind the bar and three other TVs above the main dining room, so it is virtually impossible to miss out on any playoff action regardless where you stand in the bar.

Prospect Heights is one of the few neighborhoods where you can walk into a sports bar 10 minutes before kickoff and still grab a seat at the bar. Although the excitement and revelry of being surrounded by a horde of screaming fans might be lost (i.e. Blondie's in the UWS, Sidebar in Union Square), there is something to be said for a bar where you aren't harassed by annoying Steelers or Vikings fans who suffer the indignity of having teams led by quarterbacks targeted by sexual assault allegations.